03/29/26

11pm

It’s ya girl Chais, ya know how I do… straight to the point.

Yesterday I opened my Snap. I must say, I’ve been on one heck of a social media hiatus—just really out here trying to lock in with myself. But I viewed a few snaps and… I don’t know, it made me realize how out of the loop I’ve become.

I saw people with friends and family—even my friends and family—out, just mingling. And it made me kind of miss that aspect of my life.

I know some seasons in life require that isolation period, and some friendships and relationships you just simply outgrow. But I found myself in a moment that made me examine myself as a friend.

I think we all like to believe we’re a good friend, but one quality about myself I’ve always admired is accountability. I’ve never claimed to be perfect—no matter the hat I’m wearing: friend, mother, daughter, sister, cousin, aunt, etc. And I have certainly not crossed every T or dotted every I.

A lot goes on behind closed doors. And for me, this season is about bettering myself so I can be more present—more intentional—in those roles.

This season is pruning me. Teaching me to accept the bridges that are no longer mine to cross… and how to support and walk on the ones that are still standing.

Truth is, I don’t know who will still be here after this season. But I am thankful for every gift each friendship has left behind.

Even though at times I feel left out, I understand something deeper…

My table is being prepared in this season.

And unfortunately, I’m not over the RSVP list.

But I trust—and I know—that everyone will be rightfully placed… whether it’s at the table or watching from the outside.

03/22/26

11am

I just gotta share a moment. A few days ago...I went to the store to pick something up for someone. Nothing special, just a regular errand that just so happen to have something for me !!!I get to the store and there was a man standing there at the entrance when your about to walk in.

I assumed the usual—that he was going to ask me for money—so I immediately went into my “fast walk” mode. Before I could pass him, he asked, “Can I pray for you?” 🥹

I said yes, but asked if he could wait until I came out of the store. He agreed. But before I even made it inside, something in me paused. I turned back and said, “You know what… I’d actually like to pray now.”

And I’m so glad I did.

Because it hit me in that moment—nothing is promised. Not the next second, not the next step, not even walking into a store and back out again. What if I had said no? What if I missed that moment meant just for me?

On this journey, one thing I struggle with is wanting clarity from God. I always want my signs to be clear, direct… undeniable. And if I’m being honest, sometimes I’m like, “Okay, but can I get another sign just to confirm that sign?” 😂

But today felt different.

His prayer wasn’t specific, but it didn’t need to be. He prayed for protection over my spirit and blessings over my life. And somehow, that was enough.

When I came out of the store, I watched him ask others if he could pray for them. Some people said no, that they were good. And it made me think…

God is always near. Always reaching. Always sending little reminders.

Today felt like one of those “I see you” moments.

And I think I’m learning that maybe every sign won’t come loud or wrapped in certainty… but that doesn’t make it any less real

March 15, 3026

9:30 PM

Today I did a thing!!!

Today I pressed submit on my debut chapbook manuscript. This collection carries seasons of doubt, wilderness, reconstruction, and faith. Writing it required honesty, discipline, and surrender. Whether it wins or not, I’m proud and thankful for the opportunity to express myself in a way that is 100% true to who I am.

It’s crazy because it used to take me so long to write, and this chapbook literally fell in my lap. I have to say it feels sooooo good to start and finish a project!!!

Procrastination has always been something I battle, simply because I’m a bit indecisive — I want to do it all, lol. Need I remind you I’m doing this with practically no editorial experience or guidance? I’m really just out here going with the flow, looking for opportunities and trying to create them as well.

I remember once asking a friend if they thought I tried hard enough, and they honestly told me they didn’t think I applied myself. If I’m being honest, I wasn’t mature enough to handle that feedback at the time — but now it all makes sense because I wasn’t. I had dreams and things I wanted to do, but there was no action following. It was almost as if I didn’t fully believe or trust in my own gifts, tools, and resources to step out on faith and just go for it.

James 2:17–26 tells us that faith without works is dead. You can have all the faith in the world, but if you aren’t doing the work, how can you expect to reap a harvest if you haven’t planted, fed, and pruned?

That’s just crazy!!!

But here I am in 2026 doing the work. I don’t know what’s to come of it — truly I don’t — but what I do know is that this is a message I preach often to my son:

“You are very much capable. Wins come differently sometimes. Sometimes it’s a trophy; sometimes it’s simply crossing the finish line. If you’ve given your complete best, you won the lesson — and sometimes that’s more important than the trophy.”

Nicki Minaj once said, “This night just remind me of everything they deprived me of.”

So here’s to every victory — big and small.

Put ya drinks up 🥂

Monday 3/09/2026

6am

Nothing like a Monday… the first day of the school week and the workday for a lot of employees who don’t work the weekend.

I surprisingly had a kid-free weekend two weekends in a row—s/o to my kids’ father!!! He claimed he’s been trying to get his weekends back on track, but I feel like he was just being nice. Whatever the case may be, a gal is not mad at that at all!!! The self-care was needed.

Although it didn’t really consist of much besides me decorating my room and buying plants that I hope I can maintain.

Last week was a week.

I have been considering leaving my job for some time now, but I just can’t seem to gather up enough strength to put a two-week notice in—which I’ve never had a problem with before, considering I am the face of “quit a job and trust God.” I’m trying to shift that move to something more strategic, or as my aunt would say, “have your ducks in a row.”

Next week I’m on vacation, so perhaps if no notion is made this week, I’ll at least have next week to really think about it.

I’ve just really been feeling a sense of urgency since the loss of my cousin last year—the need to make the best of time and spend it doing everything you desire, even the crazy off-the-wall dreams you were afraid to say aloud. I can say that’s where a big part of my motivation has been coming from.

I’m just a girl out here trying to take the good with the bad and create moments and words that will outlive time.

I pray Monday is blessed and that every moment of silence is filled with ideas and words aligned with every goal I set forth.

In the words of Finesse: “Let your next move be your best move.

So here’s to trusting the timing and still having the courage to move when it’s my turn. 😘 

A No Today, A Yes Tomorrow

March 1,2026 

8:30 am

Sometimes a no from someone else is a yes from God.

Let’s unravel the week… rather late.

I recently entered a poetry contest. I really did it off impulse, but that’s neither here nor there. I had plenty of work that I could submit, but I went with a piece that really took some effort. I can’t cap—I watered it down, I feel like, because when I read the poem aloud it’s about 10 minutes long. I was like, I don’t want to drift them, so I made it a very short version. Matter of fact, I took one portion and just submitted that as a poem.

I received the denial letter way before the deadline and I was like 🤔 hold on, wait—did they even consider the piece?

I’ve been off my writing hiatus for about two months now, writing consistently. I’m more of a free verse, spoken word writer, and maybe that just wasn’t what they were looking for. In my eyes it was a sure win just because of the piece I chose to go with. It was rather humbling, to be honest.

There was a 3k prize plus publication, and I got a big fat no.

I tried to think of reasons why the piece didn’t qualify while remaining encouraged in the same sentence. It took a little time, but I got myself together and went right back to the drawing board. I began to remember the story behind this passion, and it’s more than applause and recognition that I want.

Maybe this simply wasn’t the room for that particular piece.

Maybe the room just wasn’t big enough.

Sometimes what we want doesn’t align with God’s will.

Although it wasn’t really a big deal, it could’ve been something that discouraged me from writing. But I’m learning that there is a lesson in everything, and the lesson that I took from it was priced way over 3k.

A no today can be a yes tomorrow.

Writing is something I don’t need accolades for. This gift is not for me—it’s for others. And that’s my sole purpose: to share. To be authentic and unapologetically myself. No more watered-down versions of anything.

To whoever is reading this, I just want to encourage you: don’t stop at a no. Life is trial and error. The no’s don’t define us—it’s what we do with them.

Me personally, I know writing is my calling. My goal is to move from calling to impact.

Because again, this gift is not for me.

God already said YES.

I’m just answering the call 📱 

Feb/16/26

10:49 am

Journal entry:

This past weekend, the house was empty. Not the usual “they’re asleep” or “gone for a minute” quiet. The kind of silence that makes you hear yourself. I call it “kid-free weekend” energy, but really, it’s just life asking me: Who are you when no one needs you right now?

No footsteps.

No three different dinner requests.

No urgent “Mama!” echoing through the hallway.Literallyyyyyy a repetition of mama with no air in between for me to even respond to the first mama!!

My house was clean. Suspiciously clean. And for a moment, I thought I’d feel relief and be cool..And I did. But there was more under the surface — something the noise always hides.

Im noticing silence makes space for reflection. For questioning. For noticing the version of me that exists outside of being needed. Not as a mom. Not as a problem-solver. Not as the one always fixing or keeping everyone together.

Just me.

And in that quiet, I felt pride.

Pride in the woman I’m becoming. Honored to see the growth taking root inside me. Not in ways the world always recognizes. Not in ways my kids can even fully see yet. But growth nonetheless. Intentional, deliberate, unapologetic.

This weekend reminded me: my value doesn’t live only in being needed. My worth doesn’t exist solely in caring for others. My life is mine to shape, to dream, to write, to create. My voice is mine to use — raw, unedited and  Authentic!!!

Motherhood taught me patience, resilience, and unconditional love. Solitude teaches me reflection, clarity, and ownership. Together, they remind me that life is not about shrinking to meet expectations. It’s about expanding into the fullness of who I am, And not feel sorry for that .

And that’s the quiet truth I carry: the world can keep spinning, the house can stay silent, and I can still thrive, create, and grow — exactly as I am